Watching The Fish Swim

When I was in high school my mother had a peculiar pastime. She would sit in a chair in front of one of the three big fish tanks we had in the house and watch the fish swim. Something about the way they would glide through the water, their leisurely swim, mesmerized my mother. She would sit in a rocking chair with a cup of coffee and stare at those fish for what seemed like hours.

I remember seeing her in those moments and thinking to myself, please don't let me end up an old lady who spends her days watching the fish swim! (Remember, this is my idiotic high school self talking.)
At the time I could think of nothing more wasteful than to sit and watch soft bodied water creatures move within a glass tank. And now that I'm older, I feel terrible about myself if I "waste" even a small part of my day. And by "wasting" I mean things like sitting down to eat my lunch, or meeting friends for coffee, or reading a book.
That feeling has intensified as my kids have gotten older and many of my friends have gone back to work.
In my mind, if I'm a stay at home mom, and my kids are in school for the majority of the day, I should be getting three times as much done as everyone else.
If I'm not cleaning, or running errands, or shopping, or cooking, or helping the kids with this or that I should be doing SOMETHING. What is that something? Well, as it happens, that something is writing.
I feel like if I have a spare minute I should be writing. And when I don't use those spare minutes for writing I feel guilty. And although there may be no greater waste of time than making yourself feel bad about yourself, that's what I continue to do.
I thought my mother was crazy for spending her free time watching the world within a glass tank, but the truth is she was lucky. She found a way to relax. She found a way to bring her mind to a peaceful place. What a gift that would be.
In this world of go, go, go, sometimes we need to be able to stop and take a break. Whether it's meditating, gardening, yoga, or simply watching the fish swim, go do something relaxing today! You've earned it! Trust me. You have!
And I have too. So, today, instead of agonizing about word count, I'm going shopping. I'm heading to Ulta and I'm going to waste money on one more beauty product I don't really know how to use. Why? Just because it's fun, and no other reason than that.

Word Wars

If you're not familiar with word wars, sometimes called word sprints, it's a challenge to see how many words you can write in a certain amount of time.
I've been "meeting" with a group on a website called Tiny Chat. Someone will set a timer for fifteen minutes and then type "Go". Everyone starts writing and we don't stop until the timer goes off. After fifteen minutes (or ten or whatever) of fast and furious writing we all get back on Tiny Chat and share our word count. Whoever wrote the most, wins.
What do they win? Nothing. Or maybe a shot of confidence, but mostly we all win because we've all got at least a few hundred words to add to the daily word count.
We'll do at least two challenges, sometimes three, and then call it a day. I can get anywhere from 800 to 1200 words in those short bursts of writing, but more than that I find it freeing somehow.
There's no time to judge what you've written or think too hard about word choice, you've just got to write. And for someone who's been struggling to get the entire story onto paper this is exactly what I need.
There is even a Twitter account that does word wars during the month of November. You can find it @NaNoWordSprints.
And if you want to get a little more technical you can use Write or Die. This website will give you rewards, and punishments, for your writing. For example, there is something called Kamikaze mode that will un-write your words for you if you stop typing for a certain amount of time. Yikes! 
You're probably thinking that all of those words written in a frenzy are pretty much crap. For the most part, you're probably right. But with each word war I'm moving the story further to the end. 
Once I'm at the end I'll go into editing mode. To see what that entails, check out Editing Your First Draft. In the mean time, gather some writer friends and try having a few word wars of your own. You're sure to be pleased with the results! 
Ready. Set. Go!

Write Like You Don't Know You Can Fail

Have you ever had someone you know, all of the sudden, decide to do something completely stupid? Recently someone I know decided that she was going to be a photographer. The kicker is, she was really terrible at photography. Her pictures were lousy and she didn't even know how to use Photoshop. Or even Lightroom. Her camera wasn't all that fancy or expensive, and I'm pretty sure she only had one lens! What?!

She simply announced on Facebook that she would charge $100 for a sitting fee and the disc of photos she took was yours to keep. Bam! She was completely inexperienced and she was advertising herself as a photographer. What a nut!
 I would have done things so much differently. I would have researched photography, practiced all day and night. I would have read everything I could get my hands on. I would have bought the best camera money could buy (and a couple of fancy lenses) and then learned to use Lightroom AND Photoshop. (All the best photographers know both!)
 I would probably take pictures for free for about a year or two and then, and only then, would I start charging people. Actually, I probably wouldn't EVER start charging people because I would never have felt like I was worthy enough to charge for my services.
 What happened to my friend the photographer you ask? The girl who did EVERYTHING WRONG?  I bet you can guess what happened! She succeeded.
She is currently a working photographer. Not just working, but successful. She's making money and her pictures are looking great!

There's a reason why I didn't use writing as an example, (it hits too close to home) but I easily could have. If you're a wanna be writer you can probably relate.
So what's the lesson in this? Now listen close, you might have heard this before.
Nobody's perfect!
There it is. We have to quiet the perfectionist in our minds.
We have to decide that we're good enough to put our work out there for the world to see. We are good enough to call ourselves writers.
We have to find the confidence, that same confidence that lead a mediocre (at best) photographer to start her own business. People do it all the time and it can be you.

 If failure is not an option for you then eventually you're going to have to finish that novel and put it out there for the world to see. Eventually you're going to have to call yourself a writer, or a photographer or whatever it is you've been dreaming of being. And if you work hard enough, and long enough, and pretend like you have no idea that you could fail at whatever it is you're working on, you'll have no choice, but to succeed!

"Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been."-Kurt Vonnegut